Not to Raise a Bully: The Early Roots of Empathy, by Maia Szalavitz

Bullying, for some individuals, is an unfortunate and unavoidable part of growing up. How Not to Raise a Bully: The Early Roots of Empathy, by Maia Szalavitz, describes the savagery of bullying. In some cases, bullying has led the victim to suicide. Recent studies provide insight into the minds of bullies. Psychologists and neuroscientists discovered bullies lack the ability to emphasize with others. Empathy is the ability for an individual to put themselves in another person’s shoes. Without empathy bullying will become more prevalent.

            Empathy is a trait developed at a young age. “Without empathy, we would have no cohesive society, no trust and no reason not to murder, cheat, steal, or lie.” 90% of brain growth occurs during the first five years of a person’s life, as stated in the article. The majority of this development, I believe, is determined by the child’s role model. Values, such as empathy, are qualities of an individual that cannot be taught, rather, they are something a person is surrounded with throughout childhood. Without the proper role models, a child’s growth could be hindered.

            Bullying occurs each day across the country. In most cases, the same individual, or group of individuals, attacks the same victim. While the attack ensues, the same individuals that witness the attacks week to week, stand back and keep to themselves. I think the attacker, or attackers, have an insecurity they are trying to hide from others. When bullies are able to humiliate other people they seem strong and dominate, but in actuality are mentally weaker than most. The witnesses to the attacks feel they can’t interfere or the bully may turn the attention on them. Also, many witnesses don’t know how to step in between the bully and the victim, especially if the bully is a friend. If the witness was empathetic they would help the victim and realize their friend was wrong.

            The greatest difficulty a victim of bullying faces is turning to someone for help. It is difficult for a person to accept that they are being bullied. A victim faces constant abuse and humiliation day after day. This type of abuse gives the victim a sense of loneliness, especially when no one is there to defend them. A simple conversation can ease a tremendous amount of anxiety, as opposed to bottling up the emotions. When bullying is witnessed somebody has to stand up to the bully or the attacks will continue and possibly cost a life. The only person to stand between a bully and victim, however, is someone that can see themselves in another person’s position.

             

           

           

The Flip Side of Internet Fame by Jessica Bennett

            Social networks and numerous websites have contributed to the fame of thousands. The internet is powerful enough to make a person famous overnight. Fame, however, isn’t always envied, especially if it’s at the expense of humiliation. Ghyslain Raza, for example, has become known as the “Star Wars Kid.” Raza recorded himself reenacting a battle scene from the Star Wars trilogy. He had no intent of making the video public, but unfortunately it landed into the wrong hands. After the video became viral Raza was relentlessly bullied. The extent of the bullying led Raza to visit a therapist. The Flip Side of Internet Fame, by Jessica Bennett, reveals how internet fame can destroy an individual.

            Although Raza experienced undesired fame, many are thankful for the internet.  The internet allows for a quick and virtually free way to advertise. Prior to uploading videos on Youtube.com, Justin Bieber was unknown to the world. Music producers discovered his videos and signed the young artist to their record label. Bieber is now famous in nearly every country and is a multimillionaire. Criminals have also gained fame due to the internet, fame that eventually led to their capture.  Many police stations are using social networking, such as Facebook, to track criminals down. Without the internet talent could go unnoticed and crime unpunished.

            Posting online can make a person vulnerable to many threats. Many people on social networking upload their personal information to their page. This information can include date of birth, school or place of employment, phone number, and home address. A predator can use this information to find their next victim. Also, any post can be traced back to the computer it was uploaded from. This allows cyber criminals to hack into computers and steal personal information like bank accounts and social security numbers.

            Bullying is more prevalent today than it has ever been and that’s because of the internet and social networking. Facebook and similar social networks have created the term cyber bullying. Rumors are started, threats are made, and feelings hurt. An embarrassing picture of someone, as an example, can be posted and immediately seen by the entire school. Rude and inappropriate comments can be made and the person in the picture must face everyone in school the following day. It turns into a 24 hour bullying cycle that is difficult to escape from. Sadly, cyber bullying has caused victims to turn to suicide. “Anyone with a grudge can maliciously and sometimes libelously attack defenseless students.”    

            Technology is evolving rapidly and people must be prepared. I believe it is important for people to be cautious online and limit what they post. Just recently, my brother’s Playstation account was hacked into. The cyber criminals were able to steal his credit card information and make purchases of their own. Fortunately, he was able to work with his bank to fix the situation. The hackers, however, were never caught. The internet is a world in itself, where few laws apply. 

           

             

Four Types of Courage by Karen Castellucci Cox

            Courage can be categorized as physical, social, moral, and creative.  Physical courage, for example, can be exhibited by firefighters. Firemen risk bodily injury and possibly their lives to save another person in danger. Social courage is necessary to build strong relationships and helps boost confidence when working with the public. Social courage can often be recognized in a high school atmosphere. Developing a relationship with a student that has few friends and isn’t considered to be part of the “popular crowd”, is an example of social courage. The third type of courage is moral. When a person fights for a cause despite the consequences, they display moral courage. In 1994, Paul Rusesabagina displayed one of the greatest examples of moral courage. Rusesabagina not only saved his family, but the lives of over 1,200 others as the Hutu extremists slaughtered millions. The last category of courage is creative.  Creative courage is the ability of a person to “think outside of the box.” You’ll learn more when reading Four Types of Courage by Karen Castellucci Cox.

            Physical courage is displayed nearly every day, most commonly by firefighters and police officers. I believe physical courage, however, wouldn’t exist without moral courage. As mentioned in the summary, physical courage is when a person can possibly suffer bodily injury. A police officer, during a shootout, is expected to hold their ground and save the public from the threat. During this time the officer’s life is at risk, they could be shot at any moment. Without moral courage though, I don’t think a person would be able to stand their ground.  Moral courage is the ability for a person to stand up for a cause despite the consequences they might face. In this particular example, that consequence would be getting shot.

            The two types of courage I think we need more of is creative and social. I believe a successful person is someone that has creative courage. A person that is creative is able to believe in themselves and make their own decisions. It’s important to work with and rely on others, but the greatest attribute a person can have is confidence.

            Social courage, in my opinion, is the most important type courage. Bullying exists more today than it ever has. Even outside of school bullying is evident through social networking.  Bullying can bring a person to their lowest point and has been the reason for multiple suicides. Everyone should be treated equally and must imagine themselves in the shoes of a person being bullied. I truly admire individuals that become friends with someone that isn’t “in” with the popular kids. Perhaps the best example of social courage is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Dr. King, a civil rights activist, was an advocate for the rights of African Americans. His courage, unfortunately, resulted in his murder, but he left an impress and legacy that will never die.     

10,000 hours by Malcolm Gladwell

            Is talent, in any career or hobby, innate at birth or something that must be achieved? Will being born in a particular month determine whether or not a person will be talented? According to the article, 10,000 hours, by Malcolm Gladwell, the majority of professional Canadian hockey players were born between the months of January and March. Not every hockey player born between these months, however, established a career as a professional. Psychologist K. Anders Ericsson believes that talent isn’t natural, rather, practice makes perfect. Ericsson, in the early 1990s, engaged in a study to prove his theory. Upon completion of the study, Ericsson discovered a prominent difference between amateurs and professionals. That difference being, about 2,000 hours. The professional accumulated a total of 10,000 hours of practice before mastering their skill.

            I agree with Ericsson that practice makes perfect. In order to master a skill whether it’s playing basketball or learning the piano, a person must adhere to a strict practice regiment. Constant repetition, of a particular activity, allows it to become second nature. In order to be successful a person must be ambiguous and motivated. Many people exhibit theses traits, but that doesn’t necessarily make them the best or above average. I do believe some people are naturally talented.

            The majority of amateur athletes work their entire lives for a chance at the professional level, just to be turned down these players work just as hard as the professionals and put in the same amount of time. LeBron James for example, was drafted directly from high school to the NBA. James lacked the experience many professional players had from their college years. Although he had less time invested he proved to be a dominant player almost immediately.

            I think talent is directly related to genetics. Many of today’s athletes have had relatives in the same career. I do not disagree with Ericsson, but I do believe inborn talent plays a role in successful individuals. “Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good, it’s the thing you do that makes you.” Albert Einstein didn’t practice to become a genius, he was naturally gifted.

              

When Greed Gives Way to Giving by Ana Veciana-Suarez

            Bob Thompson, a 67 year old man, owned a successful road-building company. After years of hard work Thompson felt it was time to sell his company, he profited $422 million. Thompson generously shared his millions with his employees. Many of Thompson’s co-workers became millionaires themselves, after receiving their pay check and yearly bonus. One employee thought that her check amount was incorrect, saying that the commas were in the wrong place. Ana Veciana-Suarez, author of, When Greed Gives Way to Giving, covers the story of Bob Thompson.

            Bob Thompson wasn’t the typical rich man. Although it was his business and his $422 million, he wouldn’t have seen that success if it weren’t for his employees.  Thompson could have simply sold the business and moved on. He could have bought a mansion, a yacht, even a private jet if he so desired, but Thompson wasn’t selfish and never over embellished. “He possesses something as priceless as it is rare: generosity”. I believe the character of a person says more about them than the money they have.

            When the store I was working for closed, I was left stranded, along with thousands of other employees. The stores were given a one week notice which wasn’t enough time to find another job. Not only was this a financial burden, it was mentally frustrating. I worked six years for this company and I was unable to have a face to face conversation with someone as to why this was happening. I felt more like a number in their system than I did a person. It didn’t matter how hard I worked, the owners of the company were only looking out for themselves.

            I find it disrespectful when wealthy individuals flaunt their money to the world. The other day ESPN had a brief segment on boxer Floyd Mayweather. Mayweather floods his Instagram with pictures of exotic cars, jewelry and his mansions, all of which are materialistic values. He also, at all times, keeps $1 million in the trunk of his car. Mayweather isn’t shy about that either, if asked about it he’ll take the duffle bag from the trunk of the car and dump the money wherever he is standing. It’s one thing to be proud of your accomplishments, it’s another to rub it in other people’s faces. To see someone act like this is disgraceful, some individuals are working three jobs just to get by.

            I admire individuals such as Bob Thompson. He worked hard to create a business from the ground up. He realizes how difficult it is to have nothing. People who are born into money spend their money carelessly. They don’t know what hard work is and how it feels to accomplish something. The world could use more people like Bob Thompson.

           

     

Driving While Stupid by Dave Barry

            Distracted driving, is just as dangerous as drunk driving. According to the National Safety Council, nearly two million car accidents, annually, are caused by distracted drivers. Dave Barry, author of Driving While Stupid, has traveled the world and witnessed countless examples of distracted drivers. Although behind the wheel of a vehicle, driving comes second to reading, eating, and even shaving, to name a few. Defensive driving is the only way to avoid an accident on today’s roads.

            The greatest threat to a driver, is another driver fixated on their cell phone. Cell phones, particularly smart phones, have gained significant popularity in the last decade. Smart phones are an all in one tool that offer the user access to the world. Social media, news, music, emails, weather and traffic alerts, sometimes a phone call, text messaging and so much more, all in the palm of your hand. There isn’t another piece of technology that can compete with the power and portability of a smart phone. People rely on their cell phones as if it were an external organ, without it life wouldn’t be possible. In a car, however, a cell phone could cost a person their life.

            During the summer, while on the six-ten connector, I personally witnessed a car accident caused by a distracted driver. This particular person was beside me in bumper to bumper traffic, consistently being beeped at by drivers from behind. Each time I heard a car horn I’d glance over to find the driver fumbling with their cell phone. Whether text messages were being exchanged or statues updated, it obviously couldn’t wait. Just before merging onto 95 I heard what would be the final beep. As I looked up, the distracted driver flew into the trunk of a small SUV, I could see the cell phone bounce off the windshield and land on the dashboard. As if that wasn’t enough to worry about, my vacation to Italy scared me half to death.

            “Where there is only one traffic law, which is that no driver may ever be behind any other driver”, Barry said, referring to motorists in Italy. I can certainly relate to the author in this situation. My parents were both born and raised in Italy before coming to Rhode Island. I’ve been on vacation to visit family a few times, most recently this past August. It was my first time driving in Italy and I felt like I was a deer in headlights on a race track. I was being passed left and right, even driving five MPH over the speed limit. My death grip on the steering wheel became tighter when I peered in the rear view mirror. I was being tailgated by an older lady applying lip stick and mascara. Not only was she distracted, she was driving like a maniac. Fortunately I was quick to notice her and allowed her to pass when I had an opportunity to pull over. If it wasn’t for “defensive driving” an accident may have put a damper on the vacation.

            Too many people drive carelessly and don’t realize that their life and the lives of others are at risk when they get behind the wheel of a car. Driving responsibly requires focus, discipline, and the ability to react. The driver needs to be aware of traffic laws, other drivers, and pedestrians, a prime example of multitasking. Any added distractions are unnecessary and dangerous. Although Barry turned his experiences into a standup routine, driving distracted isn’t a laughing matter.

           

             

           

My Two Lives, by Jhumpa Lahiri

            Not long after Jhumpa Lahiri was born, her parents decided to leave India and travel to America. Lahiri was raised in Rhode Island during the 1970s. At home Lahiri’s parents lived by their culture’s traditions. As a first generation family, the transition between cultures proves to be difficult, as you will read in, My Two Lives, by Jhumpa Lahiri. Life outside of home was complicated for Lahiri, she struggled trying to find her identity.

            Even though Lahiri was born in India, she grew up in America. Her parents, and generations prior, were born and raised in India. When they came to America they brought their cultural roots with them. This culture will be with them for the rest of their lives, it isn’t something that can change or be replaced. As cliché as it may sound, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I believe Lahiri’s parents made adjustments to live in America, but they will never fully understand the American culture. Lahiri, however, will lead a different life than her parents.

            Lahiri struggled to find herself, she didn’t know who to be. She mentioned frequently, “Which side of the hyphen do I belong to?” referring to the term Indian-America. People of different ethnicities try to keep their families happy, while at the same time, building new relationships. They want to hide who they are because they worry about others picking on them and looking at them differently.

            I also come from a different culture, I’m Italian-American. My parents came to America after living in Italy for 30 years. They keep their traditions going so my brother and I know who we are and where our family came from. They speak Italian at home, make traditional pasta sauce every week and wine is made once a year. I think Lahiri made a mistake of hiding her culture she should be proud of what she is and not embarrassed. If someone were to judge me because of my culture I wouldn’t consider them as a friend, people should like you for who you are.

           

 

A Brothers Murder by Brent Staples.

            Two brothers torn apart by senseless violence. Brent Staples and his younger brother Blake grew up together in Chester, Pennsylvania, a small town riddled with gang members and violence. Brent was a motivated individual that sought to do better for himself. After graduating from college Brent moved to Chicago where he became a successful journalist. Blake, unfortunately, was shot and killed at twenty two years old. Blake left behind a legacy of violence and an older brother imbued with guilt. Upon finishing A Brothers Murder by Brent Staples, the reader will understand the consequences of perusing a violent life style.

             Gang violence has become a daily occurrence across the country. Gang members lead a life separate from the rest of society. These people live by their own standards with disregard to the lives of others as well as their own. A world where a bad boy reputation and a tough guy persona are more desirable than a college education and a heathy family. Gangs thrive off of this reputation and they are becoming increasingly violent.

“They jumped into the rice patties with their man hood on their sleeves,” Brent overheard a Vietnam Veteran say. The veteran was referring to soldiers drafted from the inner city. Many people from the inner city are faced with violence from the day they were born, they don’t have a choice. In order to survive an individual must become a soldier for themselves.  It’s a sad and vicious cycle that continues to this day. Only a handful of people are fortunate enough to leave that life behind them.

Gang members don’t understand the pain they put their families through. They only care about gaining a reputation on the street. Although Brent did better for himself, the violent past will always be with him. When Blake died Brent was left questioning himself, “Did I not reach back soon enough or earnestly enough for him?” violence causes as much psychological pain as it does physical. 

 I believe one of the biggest contributors to violence in our country is the media. All you hear about are the bad things happening in the world, never any good. Whether the news is televised, on social networks, or in the newspaper, criminals have a way of making a name for themselves. The media helps criminals effortlessly gain a reputation and it begins a competition on the streets. An interesting statistic from the documentary, Bowling for Columbine, proves that the media glorifies violence. In 2002, the number of violent crimes in America decreased by 20%, the media however, televised 600% more violent crimes than the year prior. America is the greatest country in the world, the people we fear shouldn’t be ourselves. 

Multitasking or Mass ADD by Ellen Goodman

            New school vs old school. The ever expanding industry of technology and social media has consumed the lives of Americas next generation. Without cell phones, laptops and Facebook day to day life would be dysfunctional. According to Ellen Goodman, author of Multitasking or Mass ADD, multitasking has taken on a whole new meaning.

What was once productive chores around the house is now a day consisting of Facebook updates and text messaging. In a recent study Clifford Nass, a human- computer interactions professor at Stanford, believes multitaskers of the new generation are easily distracted and less attentive. After reading this article, however, I feel as though Goodman highlighted only the negative attributes technology offers to the new generation.

New school multitasking is as efficient as it is effortless. With the use of technology productivity can increase dramatically. A smart phone for example, is an all in one tool that offers the user access to anything they may need. Within a matter of minutes a smart phone user can pay bills, schedule doctor’s appointments, email colleges and even check up on family across the country. Prior to smart phones chores such as this could occupy an entire afternoon.

“We may be breeding a generation of kids whose ability to pay attention may be destroyed” said by Goodman. Technology and social media serve a greater purpose than just entertainment. Law enforcement has turned to social media to locate criminals and people who have went missing. Unsolved cases are now being further investigated by the help of millions through social networking.

The older generation is stubborn to learn the benefits of technology and social media. Technology is constantly evolving and there is no way of avoiding it. I rely on my phone as if it were another organ of my body. I convinced my old school grandparents to give in and purchase a laptop. Years use to go by before I’d be able to see my grandparents. Now, while cooking dinner and writing this blog I’m able to video chat with my grandparents from Italy.  

 

What Your Supermarket knows about you by Martin Lindstorm

            Grocery shopping is an essential part of everyday life. Now more than ever shopping must be done on a strict budget. Why is it at check out though, consumer’s totals are more than expected? Upon finishing What Your Supermarket knows about you by Martin Lindstorm you’ll be mindful of crafty sales gimmicks placed strategically throughout the store.

            If you think about it retailers are just like writers, if the writer can’t get the reader’s attention then they’ll lose them. If the retailer can’t reel in the customers then they won’t have any business. The uneven floor, for example, is a sublte distraction to keep the customer in the aisle for longer than necessary. This slight distraction could be enough time to avert the customer’s attention to a product they weren’t initially there to purchase.   

            I worked in retail for seven years so I’m aware of different tactics retailers use to manipulate customers into purchasing more. When my store offered a promotion the advertisement would be misleading. Signage in the front window of the store would display to customers, free item. An advertisement such as this, brings customers through the door. In small print, towards the bottom of this advertisement would be a stipulation costumers would over look. The advertisement would read free item, in large print and in small print it would say with a minimum purchase of $39.99. Marketing ploys such as this are frequently used by retail businesses to gain an upper hand on customers.

            It is important for consumers to know retailers are trying to secure the advantage and increase their profit. Marketing ploys are always in favor of the product being pushed rather than the customer’s wellbeing. Consumers must stick to their budget and purchase only what is necessary. So if cheese doodles are on sale 10 for $10, think to yourself, do I really need 10 bags of cheese doodles? Marketing is nothing more than a synonym for monopoly.