Not to Raise a Bully: The Early Roots of Empathy, by Maia Szalavitz

Bullying, for some individuals, is an unfortunate and unavoidable part of growing up. How Not to Raise a Bully: The Early Roots of Empathy, by Maia Szalavitz, describes the savagery of bullying. In some cases, bullying has led the victim to suicide. Recent studies provide insight into the minds of bullies. Psychologists and neuroscientists discovered bullies lack the ability to emphasize with others. Empathy is the ability for an individual to put themselves in another person’s shoes. Without empathy bullying will become more prevalent.

            Empathy is a trait developed at a young age. “Without empathy, we would have no cohesive society, no trust and no reason not to murder, cheat, steal, or lie.” 90% of brain growth occurs during the first five years of a person’s life, as stated in the article. The majority of this development, I believe, is determined by the child’s role model. Values, such as empathy, are qualities of an individual that cannot be taught, rather, they are something a person is surrounded with throughout childhood. Without the proper role models, a child’s growth could be hindered.

            Bullying occurs each day across the country. In most cases, the same individual, or group of individuals, attacks the same victim. While the attack ensues, the same individuals that witness the attacks week to week, stand back and keep to themselves. I think the attacker, or attackers, have an insecurity they are trying to hide from others. When bullies are able to humiliate other people they seem strong and dominate, but in actuality are mentally weaker than most. The witnesses to the attacks feel they can’t interfere or the bully may turn the attention on them. Also, many witnesses don’t know how to step in between the bully and the victim, especially if the bully is a friend. If the witness was empathetic they would help the victim and realize their friend was wrong.

            The greatest difficulty a victim of bullying faces is turning to someone for help. It is difficult for a person to accept that they are being bullied. A victim faces constant abuse and humiliation day after day. This type of abuse gives the victim a sense of loneliness, especially when no one is there to defend them. A simple conversation can ease a tremendous amount of anxiety, as opposed to bottling up the emotions. When bullying is witnessed somebody has to stand up to the bully or the attacks will continue and possibly cost a life. The only person to stand between a bully and victim, however, is someone that can see themselves in another person’s position.